LA’s 2013 Top 5… | Down n’ Dirty French Fries

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French fries. Synonyms include: happiness, tears of joy, hangover cures, drunken nights out, giving zero fucks, everything that is good in the world, proof there is a God, etc.

I’m on a roll with this “indulgance” thing this month and there’s no better city and no better time than now to get down and dirty with some serious “only in LA” fries. The fries that made it on this list aren’t you’re typical fries, naked and such, oh no no. These are shameful fries, they’re the legendary kind, the kind you’ll tell your grandkids about someday. These bad boys are smothered with… things… they’re cheesy… they’re meaty… they’re… dirty. But the best kind of dirty of course, and these particular fried delights are so good they don’t even need their burger and main course counterparts – these fries can do it allll by dey selves thank you very much! Good French fry people of the world, I present to you, LA’s top 5 best “down n’ dirty” French fries:

1. Spitz Street Cart Fries

When I said French fries = “proof there is a God” I also concluded that the Spitz Street Cart Fries creation is his favorite child.  Perfectly crispy golden fries come topped with garlic aioli, feta cheese, green pepper, tomato, olives, pepperchinis, and chili sauce. Should you be a smart little French fry fangirl/ fanboy, you get the Street Cart Fries with “the Works” which adds your choice of meat and zesty feta. This is pretty much the best Greek salad you’ve ever had; just 86 the salad, add the fries, and enjoy a mind blowing French Mediterranian concoction.

Spitz Street Cart Fries

 

2. Oinkster Piggy Fries

You go into a place named “Oinkster” you’re not partaking in a healthy meal. Accept it, and move on. It’s ok. You can diet tomorrow. You walk in the Oinkster you’re also not walkin out before you have their Piggy Fries; the updated perhaps dare I say upgraded, version of In n Out’s Animal Style Fries. They too top their flawless fries with homemade 1000 island, caramelized onions, and shredded cheddar cheese. And of course pastrami or chili should you request. I swear you could put their 1000 island on anything and I’ll tell you its the best thing I’ve ever had, but these fries are where all of the best things in the world meet, in one paper cup, to create the ultimate fried delight.

The Oinkster Piggy Fries

3. Perch Truffle Poutine Fries

Oh well speaking of Perch! (see yesterday’s write up) I TOLD you they had great food, but I saved their culinary crowning achievement for today. Ladies and gentelmen, I give you Truffle Poutine Fries. It was love at first “french fries, black truffle gravy, truffle cheese, and bacon”. These may be fancy dirty fries, but lets be honest with outselves, they’re still deliciously downright naughty. I have never experienced poutine, let alone fries quite like this dish, and sadly gravy smothered fries will never be the same after you have Perch’s version of Candian crack.

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4. Kitchen 24’s Disco Fries

With a name like “Disco Fries” I don’t know about you but I’m already ready to party – don’t even care what you put on the fries at that point because I’m sold. Luckily even despite the greatest name for a French fry dish, possibly ever, the finished product is pretty freakin wonderful as well. I’ve had a few slightly intoxicated nights out where I’ve ended up at Kitchen 24 with the sole intent to get my fingers greasy, gravy-y, and provolone-y on some good ol’ fashioned Disco Fries. Kitchen 24 and their famous Disco Fries do a drunk, hungry, and confused body good.

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5. littlefork’s Short Rib Poutine (fries)

Anything with “short rib” or “poutine” in the title is almost always guaranteed to be ordered and devoured should it be within a 5 ft radius of my whereabouts. It can be my birthday and/or Christmas practically any day out of the year if I simply pay a visit to Hollywood’s hideaway, littlefork, where they offer a beautiful marriage between some perfectly tender short rib and a big bowl of gravy smothered golden brown fries. The surprising addition worth noting: pickled onions. It’s all brilliant and you must give them a go, but should short rib not be calling your name, fret not because littlefork owns in the poutine game by offering a few other poutine creations such as a “duck”, or “curried” option. In a perfect world you head to littlefork with two other guests so you can get one of each and share! I MEAN RIGHT!

littlefork LA poutine

Honorable Mentions: Carney’s Chili Cheese Fries, Beer Belly’s Duck Fat Fries, The Federal Bar Short Rib Poutine Fries, Wurstkuche Belgian Fries with White Truffle Oil Glaze, Pink’s Hot Dogs Chili Cheese Fries, Animal Poutine with Oxtail Gravy & Cheddar Fries, and of course In n Out’s Animal Style Fries

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