Guest Post: WWMD | The Approach

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WWMD (What Would Michelle Do) Love & Loathing LA

Spotting a guy/girl that catches your eye and strikes your fancy isn’t the hard part is it? It is the approach that has got your flustered…I feel you, the approach isn’t easy (well for me it is 😉) but I can sympathize with the folks that find it difficult to approach a perfect stranger.

Before you even think of heading over towards your prey, calm your nerves and collect yourself. Confidence is the key to a great first impression. Warning: DO NOT confuse confidence with cockiness. Arrogance is not a good look. Walk over with a confident smile, think of what you are going to say before you go over to him/her so that you don’t stumble on your words, keep eye contact and shake hands or talk with ease. Even if you are nervous, men, channel your inner Leo Dicaprio, and ladies channel your inner Monica Bellucci…they wouldn’t have any trouble talking to the opposite sex would they? (Hint: neither should you!)

Rule number one do not talk about looks! While it is true that everyone loves to hear that they are hot/beautiful/sexy and what have, but it is better to strike up a real conversation to get to know someone. You may want to go with something more substantial. For example if you see someone you are interested in reading at a coffee shop, approach them regarding the book. If you happen to know the title, pardon your interruption and ask them how they are enjoying the read, give your opinion on it and strike up a conversation that may last hours. If you are unfamiliar with the book, pardon your intrusion and ask about it. For places such as bars, this idea a bit more difficult but you can ask about a drink for instance. “Excuse me miss, I noticed you were having wine, I hate to interrupt but I am a huge wine enthusiast, what are you having?” cue conversation about wine until it is the right time to change the subject.

Another approach to consider could be “a token of appreciation”…I still think sending over a drink is a nice gesture at a bar. If you are interested in a guy/girl but feel a bar isn’t the place to try to try your luck with conversation, why not send over a drink. If they respond to your gesture with a smile or a *cheers*, then you have an open door to head over. Apologize that you didn’t come over from the start but the bar was loud and that you very much so wanted to make the connection.

The last thing to consider is your exit… which is as equally important as the approach. DO NOT over stay your welcome. You have approached your target with confidence and grace, you should leave on that same high note. Lingering too long will almost certainly let the goodwill you have built up go away. Let them know you enjoyed chatting but have to get back to your table or that you will let them get back to their evening with friends.

A phone number doesn’t mean you won the game; so don’t make that your end goal. Asking for someone’s phone number, in my opinion, always comes off a little creepy. Instead of making that your end goal just enjoy the current conversation. At the end of your rendezvous offer your business card instead, with “I really enjoyed our conversation, please do reach out to me I would love to see you again on your terms.”

 

Tip for men: Environment plays a part – When approaching a women, the environment you are in plays a huge role. A non-threatening environment such as a mall or coffee shop would be a better place to approach a woman, rather than a busy bar or nightclub. Keep your eye out for possible dating candidates when at places you can actually start up conversations at – it makes your chance more likely to succeed.

Tip for women: Don’t be afraid to take the reins. A man you are interested in maybe shy, polite or nervous to try to pick you up, perhaps start with a smile. There is nothing wrong with approaching a man; this isn’t the 1920’s ladies!

 

Happy Hunting!!

Michelle

Have a question or a topic you’d like discussed? Email me at michelle@loveandloathingla.com let’s get to discussing.

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