5 Important Questions & Answers About Dating In LA

Home / Think: "WWCD" / 5 Important Questions & Answers About Dating In LA

WWCD: gentlemen prefer blondes black and white

 

1. Why is dating in LA so hard?

Short answer: because.

Sassy answer: because most of us are too busy dating ourselves.

Sappy answer: because we’re all so busy trying to work on building our careers so we can plan better for our futures.

Serious answer: this is a busy and bustling city where most of our concerns (being 20-30 somethings) are tied up with building our dreams and careers, this isn’t small town Illinois, it’s fucking Los Angeles! But it also doesn’t help that it seems difficult simply finding genuine people with good intentions, so even if you’ve managed to snag a date how sure are you they don’t just want to wam-bamb-thank-ya-ma’am. We’re very concerned with ourselves here in Los Angeles, and it’s ok, but it doesn’t make dating easy for those who truly wish to find a long-term partner. It’s possible to find, I’m living proof, I’m a freakin Rihanna song because I DID find love in a hopeless place but it wasn’t until I stopped being so concerned with finding it, and started doing as the Romans do (aka focusing more on what I wanted to be doing) that I managed to find my partner in crime. Being selfish can be a good thing in terms of learning to live life for you and not relying on having someone in your life to make you happy. If you’d rather sit on the couch in your pj’s with a bowl of ice cream on a Friday night, do it. If you wanna go out and head to a bar, go. But we’ve seen it many a times in LA when being selfish (more like self-absorbed) can be a bad thing; when someones concerns for themselves trump concern for all of their relationships with other people, which in turn prevents any possibility of new ones forming, they may all the sudden you find themselves 40+ and single and wondering why… If you want love, if you want a relationship, don’t do that to yourself.

2. How do I find my match in this town?

Short answer: walk outside your house

Sassy answer: craigslist missed connections

Sappy answer: love yourself, be yourself, live life to its fullest, and it will find you

Serious answer: if you’re looking for a serious relationship honestly it’s as simple as be a good person and working towards making friendships with other good people. We all know the best way to meet people is through other friends – back up and a good recommendation is priceless in this town – keep networking, keep making friends and you never know what might happen. Don’t obsess or work too hard to find it because like I said, concern yourself with you, and what makes you happy on a daily basis. Positivity attracts more positivity, don’t get bogged down on the “whyyy meee“‘s, that crap doesn’t do anyone any good, especially you. Build on your interests to make friends and get out there in the world!

 

3. Where should I go to meet people in LA?

Short answer: anywhere

Sassy answer: not Tinder

Sappy answer: in the places you’d least expect

Serious answer: kind of building on the last question, you can meet people anywhere, but keep your hobbies and interests at the forefront of your decision-making. I personally used to try to think of the type of person I hoped to meet and I’d head to a place I knew I could find them. I’d consider cool coffee shops like Intellegentisa, or decent restaurant bars during happy hour, that kind of thing when I knew I’d have the potential to run into someone with similar interests but it wouldn’t feel so forced or obvious. Go out with the intention of enjoying the company of a friend though instead of the hopes of meeting someone because having fun is a whole lot more attractive and finding a date shouldn’t be your concern anyway! If you meet someone great, if you don’t you’re no worse off – just remember, you won’t be single forever. It was always a morbidly comforting thought for me, but hey it’s true!

 

4. Online dating sites or Tinder, do I do it?

Short answer: no

Sassy answer: yes

Sappy answer: if it will make you feel like you’re really “putting yourself out there”, it couldn’t hurt?

Serious answer: I have mixed feelings about online dating and dating apps, but like I said, it couldn’t hurt if you’re feeling up to it. My suggestion is though if you do, don’t waste too much time and effort on those sites, because really their services should act as a bonus, not an end all be all. I wouldn’t go too crazy working hours on your profile and stalking possible dates, if you find you get a genuine inquiry, one that doesn’t result in the hopes of a one-night-stand, by all means go for it. I’m hesitant however because I get the sense these apps and sites are a way to mask the desire for people to easily attain said “one-night-stands”, just be mindful is all I’m askin.

 

5. What are the biggest mistakes guys and girls in LA make about dating?

Short answer: girls: acting with no self-respect | guys: being overly confident and lacking chivalry

Sassy answer: girls: men in LA can smell desperation just as well as they can detect easy access | guys: tinder profile pics

Sappy answer: girls: lack of confidence – love who you are | guys: assuming all girls in LA are superficial – they’re not all so judgmental

Serious answer:

Girls, the biggest mistake we make when it comes to dating in LA is thinking if we’re not completely and entirely “putting ourselves out there” we won’t find men. And it’s just not true. You don’t need to be on every dating app, or going out every night with the intention of finding your one true love because it’s really tough finding eligible men ANYWHERE in the world! There’s just no need to disappoint yourself time and time again – go out if you want to go out, have fun, stay at home if you feel like it – don’t concern yourself so much with doing what you think you should be doing in terms of getting a date. The other half is to not assume all men in LA are peter pan assholes. There are PLENTY of genuinely good, kind-hearted, loving men in LA looking for love too. Sure those peter pan motherfuckers exist but the guard doesn’t always have to be up, give anyone with enough balls to ask you on a date a chance. At least you’ll know they’re serious rather than the typical “lets hang out at 11:30 at night” bullshit I’m sure you’ve experienced.

Guys, the biggest mistake you make when it comes to dating in LA is without a doubt just not asking anyone out. Grow a pair! Girls really fucking love I mean really fucking love when a man knows how to properly and confidently speak with a member of the opposite sex – we also love when you open up doors, and pay for meals (yes all of the meal… it amazes me how some men find that appropriate), and texting or calling when you feel like it, and act like a god damn gentleman? I’m not saying be a doormat, just be genuine and put your best foot forward. Not your “too cool” foot, or your “overly/underly confident” foot. The other half of your issue is the assumption that all girls in LA must be superficial. They all must be gold diggin, dumb bitches with bad attitudes just looking for an excuse to strike you with their claws. We’ve got girls like that sure, but there are plenty of women in LA who want to have serious relationships, to have babies someday, to fall in love, to cook dinner for someone, etc. I know plenty of eligible candidates, call me if you’re looking for such a lady.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.